I'm a survivor!
I usually blog at night after the kids are in bed, but at the moment they are reading books in their room upstairs, I don't have to make dinner (it's a leftovers night), and I'm kind of bored so I figured I'd go for it now. As I know you are all anxiously awaiting the results from my major surgical procedure that I undertook earlier today. The filling of a cavity.
The process started last night when I took my first of two Xanax pills. This was my first experience when any kind of mood/mind altering drug (I have had a super boring life so far) except alcohol, so I was a little hesitant about how it would affect me. Mostly it made me : think everything was hysterically funny, momentarily dry heave into the toilet, feel exhausted, back to thinking everything is funny, then I cried my head off watching Steel Magnolias, and then I felt back to normal. All of this took place in about a two hour time period. So I'm not sure if it was the Xanax or just me. I could have just been high on life due to the fact that the kids were in bed! It is the most wonderful time of the day after all.
This morning I woke up and was a little bit nervous, but I had a chiropractor's appointment so that took my mind off of it for a while. This chiropractor is the bomb; you get a 15-minute massage before you actually meet with her, and she never cracks my back because I told her that popping noise makes me instantly want to puke all over the place. And she probably doesn't want to clean that up. She's very pretty, it would be better if she were a little more normal looking and not so young and thin, but if I just squint my eyes when I look at her, I can pretend she has some wrinkles or something. At least a pimple. Maybe a hairy mole depending on how hard I'm squinting.
So after the chiropractor I had to race home to take my next Xanax at eleven, which was an hour before my appointment. I debated taking it at all because I wasn't nearly as panicked as I thought I would be, but I took it anyway. Because what could go wrong after taking a drug that makes you feel relaxed and then driving for six hours to get to the dentist in O'Fallon? But I just turned on my podcast of the Friday News Roundup (domestic hour of course) from The Diane Rehm Show and I was set. Riveting stuff that Friday News Roundup. (As a sidebar, if Diane Rehm ever goes on some kind of speaking/book tour I am SO THERE. I love her. Even if Jamie does call her the Crypt Keeper.)
I was a minute late to the dentist (did I mention her office is in Kansas?), so I was whisked away pretty much immediately after I got there. I guess they were afraid if they gave me to much time I would either a- run back to my car and never return or b- become hysterical in the waiting room and freak everybody else out. When I went back there, they put this 'Hanibal Lector-esque' mask around my nose (this was the nitrous oxide), rubbed some numbing stuff on my gums, waited a few minutes, gave me some shots (which I did not feel thanks to the laughing gas), and then got to work. I was surprised by the Halloween pig snout mask thing that gave me the gas, I guess my only previous experience/knowledge with this part of the dentist was from Little Shop of Horrors, which I now realize might have added to my overall anxiety. I was actually kind of disappointed not to be able to take long sniffs off the mask and then start laughing manically and singing show tunes. Maybe next time.
The actual cavity filling took about one minute and I couldn't feel anything at all, so really it was super good. I've always said I would rather get one pap smear a week then go to the dentist ever, but I think with the Xanax and the nitrous... I might be convinced other wise. Not that I would get one cavity filled a week as opposed to never getting a pap smear again, but on the list of unpleasant medical procedures, getting a cavity filled might not be as high as it was before today. Now getting a mammogram might be on the top of the list, not that I've had one yet, but the thought of getting my rather ample bosom smooshed like a pancake does not sound appealing.
So with the procedure over, I went to pay. They told me last week that it would be fifty something dollars, but it was ninety something dollars due to the nitrous oxide. Forty dollars for the nitrous oxide. I feel like I should have left with my own little rolling cart like people who need oxygen all the time have for forty dollars, but in the grand scheme of things I really don't care. It was the best forty dollars I've spent this week, and that includes a trip to Straubs to buy milk, salad dressing and bananas, so you know I spent at least $40 there.
And now, five hours later, the Novocaine has yet to wear off, but I was able to drink a 32 ounce Coke Zero and enjoying a free scoop of ice cream from Ben and Jerry's for Free Cone day, so I think I'll be okay. I'm leaving soon to take my Little Sister to the Chinese Buffet (shudder) or the 'Chinaman' as she calls it (which I can't decide if she is being racist or if this is a cultural thing, but either way I'm not saying anything), so hopefully it wears off a little more before that. Unless they can puree my Crab Rangoon.
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