Top three

Here is a list of things that can add additional stress to a teacher's life:
- starting at a new school
- starting a new grade
- decorating/supplying a classroom
- meet the teacher night
- learning a new curriculum
- organizing materials for learning
- attending professional development
- preparing for a sub
- IEP meetings
- end of quarter assessments
- report cards
- field trip
- parent teacher conferences

I have done all of this in the last three weeks (minus conferences, that's this week). So I'm going to start being nicer to myself and stop questioning why I'm so stressed and sometimes feel like I'm on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. I'm not a full-blown panic attack type of person, and I'm not really digging this feeling, so I'm hoping it goes away soon. Please and thank you.

I had a really great weekend, we had no real plans and took advantage of it. I cleaned my whole house today, got a lot of stuff done for my classroom, and spent quality time with the kids. And of course Jamie. He's always in the background somewhere, just waiting for me to tell him what to do for me next- I"m so lucky! This weekend he went rogue and spent a lot of time organizing various drawers throughout the house. The end table drawers, the master bath drawers... drawers that one would never even imagine would need organizing! I think he found his secret talent, he could start a show for HGTV. Let's call it 'What's in Yo Drawers?'. Look for it in the summer of 2016. Meanwhile I will be putting locks on all of my drawers at home...

So Jamie had his drawer-cleaning, but I had not one but THREE thrilling things that happened to me over the weekend that I just have to share. We'll start at the top:

#1- I cleaned my purse out before we went to Colorado and just dumped all the shit that I didn't need for the trip in a bowl. I finally got around to going through the bowl yesterday (I've been a little busy the last three weeks) and there was a QT gift card. I thought it was one that had like 83 cents on it, so I didn't think much of it. I went to QT yesterday for a mid-afternoon cappucino (medium, fat-free french vanilla with just a touch of a button's worth of the regular FV on top), and I handed the gift card to the cashier with my wallet in the other hand and asked him to tell me how much I owed him because it only had like four cents on it (I tend to exaggerate things in QT. It's the only place I'm truly comfortable and the one place I know I am never judged.) But then BAM, this sweet angel of QT heaven told me that I had plenty of money on the card, in fact I had 30 AMERICAN DOLLARS on it. THIRTY. DOLLARS. I basically went from QT poverty to the 1%, because who really gets more than $30 on a QT gift card, what can you really buy there that costs more than $30? I guess gas, but what kind of idiot would actually use their gift card for a tank of gas when they could spread the joy out over thirty visits on 79 cent fountain sodas? And I have no idea where this $30 gift card came from, but it was truly the highlight of a pretty great weekend to begin with. $30 dollars to QT... the possibilities are endless!

#2- I went to the O'Fallon Brewery Tap Room place/restaurant/bar with my neighbor and friend (she is my neighbor but also my friend, so I'm not sure which descriptor I should use), and it was pretty amazing. They have SEVEN pumpkin beers on tap, including pumpkin, peach pumpkin, vanilla pumpkin, IMPERIAL pumpkin which is very, very, very pumpkiny and good, and some other ones I can't remember due to the quantity of pumpkin-flavored beer I consumed.  I also tried strawberry beer which was good too. And I didn't even get the Wheach on tap which is my usual favorite because there were so many other delicious-sounding options. (Sidebar- Harry just came out of his room to tell me he had a bad dream which is bullshit because he most definitely has not even fallen asleep yet, and he had to pass by Jamie who is sleeping on his floor to come tell me this. He walked over his dad who is in his room, asleep, on the floor, to come lie to me about a bad dream. I am either doing something very wrong or very right as a parent.) So if you are in the Maryland Heights area, or even if you're not, you should definitely check it out and invite me because it is kind of hard to find and I will guide your way and there's a lot more beer to try and the pumpkin-beer clock is a tickin'!

#3- Finally, I don't know if I ever made a formal announcement but we got some new appliances, a new fridge, washer and dryer, and they have changed my life for the better. That is not a lie or an exaggeration, I am a happier person since acquiring these new, wonderful things. The fridge is so big. Like so big. When I think there won't be room for all the groceries I bought?- I am wrong, there is room. There's a crushed ice maker and the cheese drawer is perfectly placed, it plays you a song if you leave the doors open to long... it's my new best friend. Or at least it was my new best friend until today when I washed and dried FOUR PILLOWS PLUS BEDDING in my new washer and dryer. I fully realize this is disgusting and I should not admit this but I never washed our pillows with our old washer and dryer. And I don't mean never like the skinny athletic person who says 'I NEVER go to the gym,' when they actually go all the time, or like me when I say 'I NEVER hide candy in my purse and eat in the car when I'm alone,' when there is candy in my purse right ow and I had a cookies and cream bar in the Walgreens parking lot today, I mean I NEVER washed our pillows. It is disgusting, you should all shun me, but it was just such a giant pain in the ass, it would take forever to dry, the washing machine would get all effed up from spinning the soaking wet pillows, it just wasn't worth it. The very few times I have washed pillows in the 12 years since I've been an adult living out of my parents home, I've done them one at a time. So being able to do all four from our bed, wash and dry, plus some sheets in one load is life-changing. Maybe this horrible rash that itches constantly and oozes smelly discharge that's behind my hair that I've had for 12 years will finally clear up. I'm kidding of course. Of course...

Brain break

I read somewhere that season four of Homeland was supposed to be on Netflix this month but it's not there. I search for it every day. And I don't understand:
a- how it could be on Netflix because I thought Hulu had an agreement with Showtime and Homeland is on Showtime.
b- why they would only put season four of a show on, that makes no sense. Unless Netflix is catering to Jamie and I only, as we have seen the first three seasons so really only having season four is perfect for us, and I know we are pretty special and amazing but I didn't know we were THAT special and amazing. But apparently we are. Thank you Netflix!
c- when is the latest season of Louie going to be on Netflix? Netflix executives who are reading my blog, can you please address this in the comments.

To switch back to Hulu, we've been watching the first season of Fargo which is amazeballs. So good. I think that Martin Freeman is just like the best actor ever. He was Tim on the British version of The Office, The Hobbit (?) or maybe just one of the hobbits, Holmes, and now this total jerk with a horrible accent on Fargo. He's the bees knees when it comes to acting. Get this man an Emmy, or better yet just give him an EGOT.

Weezer is coming to St. Louis and I want to go.

I haven't been to IKEA yet, but I did get a catalog in the mail!!!! Progress!

I lost my fitbit at work and I am so sad. I am fully aware that the fitbit was 10% truth, 90% total bullshit/arm movements, but I liked it. I bought into the lie. And now that the lie is gone, my motivation to lose weight is gone too. I was doing so well, Jamie is always telling me how skinny I look and that I should eat more. The only thing that eases my pain is the Garrett's popcorn my neighbors brought me from Chicago. Imagine all the 'steps' I could have brought in from shoveling that into my mouth with both hands!!!! RIP fitbit, you will be missed. But mostly, RIP Garrett's popcorn, I ate the last of you today. You will be missed so very much more than that stupid, lying fitbit.

I'm trying to avoid talking about teaching because I don't know the new rules of blogging and teaching. Or if there are any rules. All I know is some teacher at Central High said something stupid on Facebook or Twitter and then she was all over the local news, and I do not want to end up all over the local news. I will say this:
- It is tiring. My feet hurt, and I bought the most God awful ugly shoes this summer 110% based on comfort and they still hurt at the end of every day.
- I have about two pairs of pants and four shirts that are work appropriate. Five years of SAHMotherhood has drastically reduced my wardrobe of clothes that one should wear in public. I don't know if I have any long pants besides jeans that fit anymore (from all my weight loss), and winter is coming... I have to go shopping.
- But I have this job that keeps me from shopping during the day.
-  And the thought of shopping on the weekends sounds horrible. I can see why people shop online for clothes, an idea that has always horrified me, but I may be embracing soon.
- My students are cute. They are mostly really, really well behaved and smart. I am very lucky to be teaching where I'm teaching. I have a boss who is a friend and more importantly a great leader, my coworkers are nice and helpful, and it is close to home. I have to fight the urge to kiss them (don't alert the authorities yet), but it's weird- for five years I've had children to love on and hug on all day every day (I realize this is sounding worse by the word), and it's hard to break that mindset. I did kiss a boo boo on the finger today, so if my next blog post is all about how I am no longer employed, you'll know why.
- I do have a student who every day has told me he loves me so I tell him that I love him too. And I really do love him.
- I teach in a loud voice. I am already a loud talker, but my teaching voice is just naturally loud. Maybe it's from teaching middle school for so long. On my first day in kindergarten one of my kids told me that if I kept yelling I was going to lose my voice. But I wasn't yelling, I was just talking. So I need to work on that. I don't want to be known as the yelling teacher.
- I want to be known as the well-dressed teacher. If teaching in sweatpants and no bra ever becomes a thing, the title will be mine!
- Something that is new to me in the teaching realm is this high-tech thing called youtube. It is all the rage with the kindergarten teacher set. Apparently kindergarteners need 'brain breaks' and the best way to do brain breaks is by watching videos of grown men acting ridiculous and singing nonsense songs. Or acting ridiculous and counting to 100. Or acting ridiculous and spelling sight words.

In my next life, I'm going to make a million dollars by dancing around like an idiot in a video on youtube.

But right now I have to watch the season finale of Fargo. You betcha!