Peanut, Buster and Jamie: Oh Penny part 2

Twelve Ways that Penny is Basically a Teenager

1. She sleeps late. I can remember when I use to watch my nephew overnight and he would wake up about five o'clock every morning, sometimes earlier. I thought it was some kind of toddler phase, but at the ripe old age of nine he considers sleeping til seven sleeping in. I was dreading this behavior out of my own kids, but so far (knock on wood), they are both excellent sleepers and not early risers. And Penny is definitely the last out of bed in our house most days.


Penny on Christmas Day. We had to wake her up at 9:30 because we felt bad making H wait any longer to open his presents.

2. She demands privacy in the bathroom, and stays in there for way longer than necessary doing God knows what. Which leads to number three...

3. She can take an hour long bath but hates to be washed. Now this one isn't necessarily a characteristic of every teenager, but I have known some in my time who had parents who would have to threaten to get in the shower with them to wash them, bribe them to comb their hair, or rewash their hair for lack of proper rinsing because she watched the movie It and was terrified of the drain in the shower and therefore this poor, traumatized youth would only take about one-and-a-half minutes showers through seventh and eighth grade. Or so I've heard. Washing Penny makes me think of waterboarding someone; she demands to have a dry washcloth over her face while rinsing her hair and if the teensiest drop of water drips down to her forehead well... you're going to hear about it. But on the flip side, before or after said torture she can be in the tub for hours if you would let her. If she could just take her meals in there, all would be well. But wait...

4. She may/may not have an eating disorder. I know eating disorders are not funny, and this post is supposed to be funny (are you laughing yet?), and not all teenagers have eating disorders, but I'm sure at some point in time every female between the ages of 13- 33 has thought about it. I mean, look at Ke$ha. Who would have guessed it? Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and think, 'How long can I go without eating?' and my record stands at 40 minutes. Someday I'll break the hour mark.

But anyway, back to Penny. She doesn't eat. That's basically the only way to describe it. She takes pickiness to a whole new level. Foods that she used to love she now shuns, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to watch her live on an all cereal bar diet. I would think it was something that I had done at a mother, but she has a twin who eats just fine. So anyway. She's a pain in the ass about eating. Like a teenager.

5. She has wild mood swings.

I think I asked her to say cheese. I'm clearly the worst mom ever.

She wanted to take ALL the trees home from the tree farm. So she ruined my awesome picture.

You want me to sing in the church program that 75 other children are able to sing in without a problem? Are you insane?

Happy Penny!

Even when she's happy, you know she's plotting against you.

6. She is fashion-forward, or at least thinks she is.

Who needs shoes when you can put MITTENS on your feet?!?!

7. She loves to accessorize.

Because, of course.

8. Her shorts are too short.

How embarrassing.

9. She's a good babysitter.

I mean, check out the system she has going on here. What a pro!

10. She never listens to her mother.

I don't know how many times I've threatened to shave her head if she won't leave barrettes in. I swear she does it just to drive me slowly insane. This hair...